Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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