i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
