When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
