I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize