There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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