i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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