so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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