I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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