I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
