Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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