I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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