I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
