They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
