Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
