He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
