Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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