What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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