sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
