remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
