It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
