But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize