I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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