If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
