she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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