I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
