Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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