Soap is not a condiment
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i think i just naturally attract stoners
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
