I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
