Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
