Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
