better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
