it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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