At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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