I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
