real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
