I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
