They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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