Already got asked if we're dating
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
