But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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