Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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