Umm I'm too high to move.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
