I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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