Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
