If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
