I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
