Just mADE A PArabola og urine
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
