Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize