What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
