If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
