Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
