she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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