I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
