He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
