He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
and she was petting her beer can
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
