At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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