well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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