i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
How naked do you want me to be?
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