Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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