I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
