i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
