we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
