ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize