Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
