Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She bit a glass in half.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize