dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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