He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I intend to get homeless drunk
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
