i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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