Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
