just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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