So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
