I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
