I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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